No 2012 Wrap Party This Week

November 16, 2009

Last week the Hollywood special effects poster child film, 2012, went into wide distribution. As expected, the sensationalism of the effects drew throngs of viewers. The film captured $65 million or $160 million (depending upon how you assess box office scores) from the pockets of the public, dramatically gaining on reclaiming its estimated cost of $260 million. I’m not going to see the film, but I have poured over the reviews. Even without the reviews I could find and clearly see the unfortunate effects. Yep, the fanning of fires about the end of the world on astrological forums stoked new fervor in Mayan/disaster postings. No doubt the topic is receiving its due from water cooler conversations in work places by those witnessing the celluloid spectacle. Evidently P. T. Barnum and H. G. Wells have reincarnated and are alive and well either in Hollywood or at the helm of the largest fear-based blog sites.

This is all a complete waste of words, energy and life.

Okay, so let’s pour some much needed water on the rekindled end of the world (eotw) flames. How do I know there will be no end of the world? Well, the world might end someday either by human abuses of the planet’s resources or collision from an asteroid (and NOT Planet X, Niburu… there’s no such thing), and if that were to coincide with the completion of the Mayan Calendar I would be greatly chagrined. I am working with the assumption that any asteroid collision that may occur in the future shall not correlate with the Mayan Calendar’s turn over. Furthermore, scientists feverishly work to find ways of preventing such a collision, of which we would likely have enough of a heads up to get Bruce and Billy Bob back in space.

Here’s where I’m putting my faith. When Y2K rolled around I wrote a column for the Science Fiction Channel’s website where I could rant on about the fact that Y2K was the equivalent of a hoax. How did I know? Having two computers with identical software and files, one day I boldly reset the clock in one of those computers to January 2, 2000. No crash.

Last week I was cranking out data for the newly refined orbit of yet another dwarf planet, 225088 (colloquially called Snow White). As I was formatting the data into tidy columns, I noticed that the data did not fade from the pages once I passed December whatever it is in 2012. So again, I reset my computer’s clock past the fateful date. It still worked.

Ridiculous? Not nearly as ridiculous as the fear-mongering surrounding 2012. You know, evidently P. T. Barnum never said, “there’s a sucker born every minute,” but he surely applied the statement. When I was a child, neighborhood kids used to report during “scary time” that giants lived in the Earth and at will, could pop up through the ground and eat us all – a plot point somewhat applied to the 2005 remake of War of the Worlds. They also said that if you chewed off your fingernails when worrying about such things, the sharp nail points would go to your heart and stab you dead.

When visiting relatives in Cooperstown, New York as a child, I went to the fabulous Farmer’s Museum. There they had a stone fabricated to look like a petrified giant, which one day was miraculously unearthed in upstate New York. It was a ruse directed by the brilliant P. T. Barnum. The terror there must have been. Even in nineteen sixty something while staring at this impressive hoax, it shot shivers up my spine. What if the hoax was: this hoax was real?

The bottom line is: people commonly await the uncertainty of the future with great angst. So maybe if absurd predictions are attached to a given date, and we make it through that given date there is hope for humanity?

So, I’ll restate my contention. When the Mayan Calendar expires, the cycle simply starts again. Throw another shrimp on the barbie, bellow out another stanza of Auld Lang Syne and have a beverage indigenous to the plants where the Maya once flourished. If I’m wrong, meet me in the afterlife and I’ll spring for a beverage of your choice. I’ll be cash laden up there, because I’m planning on taking it all with me.

For now, take a breath. Forget about 2012. There are still two years of life that require your attention and the application of the celestial movements between now and then. Wouldn’t it suck to lose two years of your life to fretful, meaningless worry?

If you found this useful and would like to find out more about those planetary movements between now and 2012, please visit the “about” link and use the hyperlink to visit my website directly.


2012: Continuing Humanity – A Prescription for the Fate of Humankind

June 9, 2009

Evidently another commonality between astronomers and astrologers these days is that of the unwritten job description stating the need to quell the fears of the public surrounding 2012 and its unfortunate affiliation with the End of the World (EOTW). Last night when I received Mike Brown’s (you know, the guy who co-discovered Sedna, Eris, Makemake, Haumea and Snow White) latest blog ( I realized how much time he spends, like me and every astrologer, dispelling the nonsense surrounding 2012.

A couple of things to get started here. Not to incite fears of the pole shift, usually confused with a change in the tilt of the Earth’s axis, but there’s a great page to read on one of the leading sites about pole shift. Check out: in which the site discusses how to take a thin fact and warp around your greatest agenda of fearful speculation. Unfortunately, most of the 2012 doomsday posts and all of the Planet X-Niburu posts fall into the category of the above. Each and every blog, essay, editorial, book and such touting such fear-based Cheney-Il-esque proclamations injure astrology, metaphysics and astronomy.

Now, Mike Brown’s blog discusses an e-mail he received from the Institute for Human Continuity ( Check it out. It’s kind of fun, but it’s equally sad. It looks bona fide. It’s better than most of the EOTW websites out there. As Mike Brown points out, a careful read, which is atypical of the typical Internet browser seeking out cataclysms, would note the links that refer to Sony Pictures and sniff out the ad. Actually, I was tipped off by the picture of Oliver Pratt on the home page. So Sony Pictures is scheduled to release the movie 2012 on November 13, 2009 – according to the latest update on IMDBpro. Bastards! While they hope to scare the crap out of humankind and make heaps of dollars doing so, they have substantially added to my non revenue workload. I’m conjuring a response to submit on their website. It’ll be a good one, I promise.

Incidentally, anyone I find forwarding the IHC website as if it’s fact, be warned. If that you do, I’m going to show up with a turkey baster and force feed the doom promulgator a gallon of wheat grass juice to clear out their psychic toxicity.

Now the IHC website seeks to assert an agenda of preserving human continuity after 2012. Okay fine, but I bet mine is better. Inspired by Mike Brown and his planets, here’s an agenda we can all live with that is based upon the recent innovations of consciousness we can derive from the dwarf planets, which most astrologers actively seek to ignore.

Sedna’s Suggestion: Get back to basics. Take care of basic domestic issues and security, establish a healthy diet and adequate rest routine, then delve into your spirituality with unlimited abandon.

Eris’ Exclamation: Enough already. Get over your addiction to status and success. What you drive and how many Platinum cards you carry will not get you into the underworld for the purpose of soulful evolution. Why obsess over meaningless affiliations, clubs and social networking sites when you can’t unify energy in such environments? Hits on your social pages do not consiousness make. Overcome fears of exclusion and align with what matches your spirit. Once done with that, how about overturning collective consciousness that works against the survival of Earth?

Makemake’s Magic: Stop over populating the dang planet. It doesn’t matter if we’re green if the planet cannot support the people on it. Figure out your creative contributions and offer them with confidence and certainty.

Haumea’s Helpful Hint: Figure out who can be part of your inner circle and who cannot. Cling-on kinds that debilitate your energy must be cast away. Bond with those of similar spirit and agendas and get on with healing souls and regenerating the planet.

Snow White’s Magic Apple: Though we don’t know much about her orbit yet, it appears her node serves up an agenda of empathy and compassion, something that constitutes sin in some political agenda. Try on those attributes for size.

What are you waiting for? Can’t you see the 2012 countdown clock in Times Square (there’s not one that I know of, but since the National Debt clock is busted, maybe Sony will hire it as a promotional tool)? Time’s a’wasting and people are a’freaking. We can do something about that.

I hope someone from Sony sends me free passes to the movie, given what I’ve done to further their ad.